- “That meeting started an hour ago.”
- “Random drug testing is today?”
- “Why did my email to the CEO bounce back as ‘undeliverable’?”
- “HR wants to see you.”
- “Our best days are ahead.”
- “Would you mind showing the temp everything you’ve been doing?”
- “Did anyone else have trouble cashing their paycheck?”
- “Would you mind copying your files into this network folder?”
- “Nobody’s seen the boss for, like, a week!”
- “Good news – you don’t have to bother filling out your performance evaluation.”
- “The stock price isn’t important.”
- “We’ve got a lot of residual good will with these people.”
- “Why doesn’t my code let me into the building?”
- “My spreadsheets are automatically backed up when I turn off my computer, aren’t they?”
- “At least I know my job is safe.”
- “Where’d all the copiers go?”
- “Nothing is going to change.”
- “Did you mean to hit ‘Reply-All’?”
- “That’s just a rumor.”
- “I didn’t know the Board of Directors was meeting today.”
- “Hey, where’s my monitor and desk lamp?”
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This is hilarious because it's (unfortunately) true. You can't make this stuff up.