Phrases intended to reassure that rarely do

“It tastes better than it smells.”

“Don’t worry — I’ve got everything under control.”

“We are investigating the issue and will provide updates as we have more information.”

“I’m glad you like it! Wait ’til I tell you what the secret ingredient is…”

“The check is in the mail.”

“No hard feelings. I’ll give you call next week.”

“We have our best people looking into the matter.”

“I can pay you back in a week… two, tops.”

“As soon as we have a minor mechanical problem checked out, we’ll push away from the gate and be on our way.”

“Mexico will absolutely pay for that wall.”

“Put on this gown and the doctor will be with you in just a minute.”

“If my actions offended anyone, I’m deeply sorry.”

“I did everything you asked me to.”

“I don’t *think* there are any nuts in this…”

“Some of my best friends are [fill in the ‘other’].”

“It doesn’t matter who they bring in to run the company — our department is essential to the operation.”

“You won’t need a sweater.”

“This is the last time I’ll ask you to do this.”

“I’m sure I unplugged the iron before we left.”

“Google Maps says this is the fastest route.”

“Oh, I never follow a recipe!”

“I’ve asked Human Resources to thoroughly investigate your allegations.”

“I didn’t tell you because I didn’t want to upset you.”

“That’s OK — it happens to every guy now and then.”

“I’m sure he knows what he’s doing.”

“Don’t be concerned — we’ll never get audited.”

“Just sign here and I’ll be right back.”

“Our thoughts and prayers are with the victims of this horrible tragedy.”

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