We’re Not Gunning For You

We’re tasked with improving the safety in schools – but we’re not going to talk about guns.
You can serve us champagne, “horsey doovers” and cake — but you can’t make us have any fun.
We’re having our first public meeting this week;
A blue ribbon panel, with eyebrows on fleek.
We’re charged with presenting some meaningful steps — but we’re planning to do an end run.

A gun, by itself, doesn’t cause any problems – unless placed in hands we deem dangerous.
A bullet won’t kill unless aimed at a target. You don’t believe? Come to the range with us.
It’s not guns, but people, who must choose to kill.
To stop them is merely a matter of will.
We will not consider the role weapons play, since the right to bear arms is ingrained in us.

We’ve got the best folks in the country on this – or at least the best ones we could find.
But if you take some half-wits and add them together, the sum equals one brilliant mind.
The concern about guns is for some other day
Since it’s really not part of our charter, per se.
So please do not ask what we’re planning to do about guns, Congress — we’re disinclined.

We recently went on a field trip and spent time communing with lovely first-graders.
They showed us some actions they’re taking to keep themselves safe from unwanted invaders.
But no single thing being done over there
Will keep those kids safe from a mean grizzly bear.
The best response we have discovered so far is to ask for your thoughts and your prayers.

We need to come up with strong recommendations since so many children have died.
A young man just asked Sarah Sanders about it and, in response, she almost cried.
Our team will work strongly to get at the root,
Unless Sessions, Nielsen and I get the boot.
Replaced then with experts who – unlike this covey — are competent and qualified.

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