Alternative Fox

The market would crash if I’m ever impeached.
A warning to Democrats: don’t over-reach.
Why would you impeach me? I’ve done really great.
I’ve always succeeded – I’m telling you straight.

Cohen was my fixer, but now he’s a flipper.
(Unlike Paul M., who took one for the Gipper.)
I have no respect for a person who snitches;
Makes stories up – they’re no-good sons of bitches.

Michael – who I saw on occasion, for ten years –
Copped a plea; not judged by jury of then-peers.
Manafort skated on ten of eighteen.
What they have done to that man is obscene.

Know who wants Manafort jailed? It’s the “deep state.”
They forced convictions on some counts – at least eight.
Word comes that one female juror was the holdout.
Nevertheless, Paul refused to be sold out.

I blame Jeff Sessions for this whole disaster:
It’s taking forever; it should have gone faster.
Once he recused I said, “What kind of man is this?”
He’d benefit from some psychoanalysis.

Right from the start, control was not taken.
What I call “justice” has now been forsaken.
Jeff needs to prosecute other selections
And take all the focus off ‘16 election.

Mueller and Comey are really best friends.
This Russia probe? Just a means to an end.
Bob’s got the back of his close buddy Jimmy,
Taking his word over mine – that’s a gimme.

Campaign violations aren’t even a crime.
Something politicos do all the time.
Barack paid out just 3-7-5 K,
No jail time – and it all went away.

Cohen, however, was treated as criminal.
I sense a message here, though it’s subliminal:
“You’re facing years in jail due to those payoffs…
Make up a story, we’ll knock many days off.”

[Now comes late word that they’ve flipped David Pecker.
He sat on stories that called me “homewrecker.”
I thought that Dave was my friend in the press.
I once thought highly of him, now think less.]

You all know how my campaign was surveilled;
Couldn’t find anything on me – they failed.
Still they come after me: Mueller’s relentless,
Even though trails leading to me are scentless.

And yet despite all this pressure – enormous –
I give myself an A+ for performance.
If I am forced from this job in a cold sweat,
Everyone then ends up poor. That’s my bold threat.