I like to make claims for which there is no proof.
Subjected to scrutiny, they just go (poof).
Alternative facts are my currency here,
And I make up stories about things we fear.
That caravan has terror-types in the middle!
(I offer no proof – so it’s kind of a riddle.)
A tax cut is coming, perhaps ten percent!
(No Congress in session – not sure where they went.)
My phones in Trump Tower were tapped by Obama!
(Or maybe they weren’t – but I sure love the drama.)
Look out for your beautiful 401-k’s!
(Of course, most don’t have one – just something to say.)
It’s under construction; we’re building that wall!
(Some sections of fencing replaced – that is all.)
The Dems will eviscerate Medicare, surely!
(I said that to scare seniors, simple and purely.)
These illegals flooding in all get to vote!
(Can’t happen – just said it to get the Dems’ goat.)
The caravan’s funded by leftist George Soros!
(Of course it’s not – just some more caca from toros.)
That deal with the Saudis means one million jobs!
(It’s all smoke and mirrors – ten thousand-some, probs.)
That DNA test “Pocahontas” took – bogus!
(My pledge of a million bucks moved out of focus.)
About half a trillion of Saudi-bought “stuff”!
(I made up that figure – is that high enough?)
First time in ten years military got raises!
(That claim, says the fact checkers, rates “pants on blazes.”)
I prep for these rallies, but when I go in there
I’d rather make claims that I pull out of thin air.
It’s anything goes as the midterm’s upon us,
But I’ll tone it down once it’s over, folks – honest.
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