Furlough Blow

I’ve shut it down before and I will shut it down again –
It’s not a question anymore of why or how, but when.
I sat with Chuck and Nancy and, in front of cameras loudly,
Proclaimed that I would shut it down and I would do so proudly.

“Won’t blame you, Chuck,” I said – “This one, I’m going to take the mantle.”
I said I’d sign a compromise… then Limbaugh launched a rant, ‘til
I changed my mind and said, “Without 5 billion there’s no deal!”
Insisting that the Democrats must pay for slats of steel.

I acted like the man I am, instead of just a mouse.
Pelosi caught flat-footed, with enough votes in the House.
I grabbed the Red State senators and pushed for the adoption
Of this (despite the name, requires no codes): the nuclear option.

I tweeted and I blamed the Dems. I stamped my feet a bit.
(Perhaps to clean my brogans, since I’ve stepped into some shit.)
Jim Mattis gave his notice, and the stock market is tanking;
I’ve turned into the Grinch instead of one that all are thanking.

I may have spoiled Christmas for employees with this furlough;
Instead of peace that’s heavenly, I’ve stirred up an inferno.
Some say I’ve sent mixed signals and created a farrago,
But this has hurt me, too: delayed my trip to Mar-A-Lago.

I said that I’m prepared for this to last a long, long time.
I said I’d drain the swamp… yet once again am stuck in slime.
The third time I have shut it down; it may not be the last one.
We’ll see if I’ve misjudged here, as I tried to pull a fast one.