Jingle Yells

I sit all alone in the White House:
Just me and my thoughts and my iPhone.
I tweet while I’m waiting for my spouse;
My ire taking root like a rhizome.

The Democrats won’t acquiesce to
My budget demands for the border.
I have no one left to confess to,
And may have caused market disorder.

The Fed has no feel for the market –
And under my breath I will mutter
Their chairman has killed and not sparked it.
(He’s also a terrible putter.)

Bob Corker approved the Iran deal
I keep saying, though that’s a fiction.
He hasn’t been my biggest fan. We’ll
Ignore his insulting depiction.

I spoke to the leader of Turkey,
Who said he’d eradicate ISIS.
I pulled out abruptly; it’s murky.
But now it is Erdoğan’s crisis.

I worked out a deal with the Saudis;
Now they say that they’ll rebuild Syria.
I called up bin Salman, said “Howdy!”
I’m vague on the actual criteria.

I never lashed out at Matt Whitaker
When charges were filed against Cohen.
There was a discussion that did occur;
Some shop talk, but no sharp elbowin’.

I met with my staffers on Christmas Eve
And made progress re: North Korea.
A beautiful gift he will soon receive:
I’ll bring it, Kim, next time I see ya’.

Tomorrow is Christmas. I’ll celebrate
With Barron, Melania, and family.
Tweet bullying I will not generate –
Unless there’s another calamity.