No Presents Are Accounted For

I fielded calls on Christmas Eve; they all came from the children.
“Oh, when will I see Santa?!” – their anticipation buildin’.
Of all the cheerful answers found in any parent’s arsenal,
I chose to tell one kiddie: “Your belief in Santa’s marginal.”

I wonder what the look was like upon that sweetie’s face
When her phone call was answered by the Head of all the States.
It might have been confusion versus eyes all filled with wonder; she
Thought: “Donald Trump just pulled the Santa rug right out from under me.”

Melania sat next to me; she loves this great tradition.
I choose to tell it like it is, so no need for contrition.
We all know Santa isn’t real, so why promote that crap?
(Just picture Little Bobby Corker, perched on Santa’s lap.)

They say that by the age of eight, most children realize
There really is no Santa; no sleigh flying through the skies.
To tell such tales to children only generates confusion,
So let me make it clear: There is no Santa – OR COLLUSION!

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