Rom-Knee Cap

Bob Corker’s gone; Jeff Flake’s retired; Ben Sasse – all talk, no action.
The Senate’s leading voices of the anti-Donald faction.
But here comes ol’ Mitt Romney with an op-ed some call “scathing.”
I quickly jumped on Twitter to make Mitt my latest plaything.

The Senator-elect (who’s now from Utah; he’s a Mormon),
Has decided to establish he’s the new anti-Trump foreman.
He says I’m short on character; name-calling I should shelve.
I point out I won big, unlike his run in Twenty-Twelve.

Mitt gave a speech some years ago, where he called me a fraud.
Again, my campaign: brilliant; whereas Mitt’s campaign: quite flawed.
But when he ran for Senate he accepted my endorsement.
I’m the stallion he rode in on – now I wonder where that horse went?

He now says I’ve not risen to the mantle of the office.
That’s a bold thing he is saying; he perhaps should be more cautious.
There’s so much that I could tweet about Mitt Romney – choose among these:
Failed presidential run / Self-deportation / Magic undies.

Jealousy’s a drink served warm, says my campaign’s top thinker.
(I’m not certain what was meant by that, since Mitt is not a drinker.)
But I know revenge is best served cold, just like a Diet Coke is,
So as Mitt applies for clearances – perhaps I will revoke his.

Did you see Ronna McDaniel’s statement? “Mitt: desist and cease.”
She’s the GOP Chairwoman; even better – Romney’s niece.
I trust Mitt will get in line now, with his shitting on me done –
Or I’ll tie him to the roof next time I fly on Air Force One.