I want to build the wall faster, and so I’m prepared to declare
Emergency measures to deal with a crisis that, honestly, just isn’t there.
But during my campaign I promised – I’ll build a big, beautiful wall.
The chance this approach will succeed are the same, while in Hell, of your basic snowball.
You may recall Nancy Pelosi said I wouldn’t get dollar one;
Instead I got one-point-three billion and into a victory this was then spun.
A year ago I said, “No thank you” – with 25 bil on the table,
So if you agree that I’ve won here, that’s great: now permit me to spin one more fable.
For all of you paying attention, perhaps you’ll recall when I said
That Mexico’s going to pay. That approach in the water it seems is now dead.
I sure want to be re-elected, but pressure from my base is mounting;
I’ll cobble together the money I need using spit and creative accounting.
I’ve done many great things in two years for which I don’t get enough credit.
Perhaps you have read all about them somewhere on the Dark Web, or maybe on Reddit.
When pressed to provide validation, the truth over which I will trip, so
I offer up “facts” that I pull from thin air: more like fantasy, less facto ipso.
The generals opened their wallets, and said, “Here’s some cash we aren’t using.”
(The thought of these billions just lying around is, you’ve got to admit, quite amusing.)
I spoke of the border at great length, but also went off on some tangents.
I veered among bragging, extoling, confronting – but most of the time sounded plangent.
I said I expected a challenge, so we’ll duke it out in the courtroom.
The Dems are all vowing that my resolution is something they’re going to thwart soon.
Melania asked, “Are you worried?” I shook my head; said, “Not at all, babe.” Look:
I’ve managed to take all the focus away from the news about Andrew McCabe’s book.
