Lost At CPAC

Recently I spoke at a conservative enclave.
People seemed unsettled by how I chose to behave.
I came onto the stage and wrapped my arms ‘round Stars and Stripes –
Then launched into a litany of boasts, complaints and gripes.

I spoke for longer than I’ve ever rambled on before.
I went off-script and lit into all things I still deplore:
The Russia probe, the Democrats, Obama and Jeff Sessions
(I hate that man so much, I mocked his speech with an impression).

This Russia hoax has gone on far too long; I won’t indulge it
For one lousy minute longer, so to Mueller I say: “Bullshit.”
I’m tired of those Fake News reports from sources incognito.
And by the way – how great is that invention known as TiVo?

To those who claim collusion: I am tired of your loud cries.
The truth’s untold regarding my inauguration crowd size.
Productive time with Chairman Kim, for whom I have a fondness,
While some who hate our country are now serving in the Congress.

Foreigners send daughters here and load them up with Plan B.
Liars want short sentences, so forced to enter sham pleas.
A national emergency you know I’m now invoking.
As far as telling Russia to get emails – I was joking!

I could have talked for hours more (the room was filled with love);
Still more names on the list of those I’d like to get rid of.
But all good things must end, they say – which surely means my lecture.
Will I still be the President next year? Up for conjecture.