My orders no one disobeys. No way, no time, no how.
When I read what McGahn had said, I almost had a cow.
When I told him – or anyone – to jump, they said, “How high?”
When I give a command, it’s done – no one would dare ask why.
I’ve got a button on my desk, and when I choose to mash it,
A Diet Coke will suddenly appear; the action’s tacit.
When college athletes come to celebrate, I order fast food.
They eat hamberders up until they burst – they have a blast, dude!
My people do what they are told, or face the consequences.
All know it’s a lost cause to think I’ll come back to my senses.
I am your favorite President, a title almost regal,
So my commands are carried out. Who cares if they’re illegal?
I have no faith in judges even though I’ve packed the courts.
It’s mostly the Ninth Circuit that makes me feel out of sorts.
But now I’ve got Supreme Court justices in my back pocket,
In hopes the crazy shit I do will end up on their docket.
The list of people Mueller claims have disobeyed me: lengthy.
But found among that multitude of names – Ivanka’s ain’t. She
And my son-in-law are family and would never display arrogance.
(I’m sure that neither one’s afraid of losing their inheritance.)
So don’t believe what Mueller says about staff going rogue.
It seems like ridiculing me will always be in vogue.
If some don’t pay attention to my fiat by epistle,
I’ll let them know what I expect through using my dog whistle.
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