Under my auspices, C.I.A. assets
Can’t spy on my buddies – I would not allow it.
I’m not too concerned with the precedent that sets
Like Mission: Impossible – I’d disavow it.
I just learned that Kim Jong-un’s chubby half-brother
Reportedly worked with our leading spy agency.
They shared a father, but not the same mother.
(That’s just like my family – with Wives One and Two, then Three.)
I recently got one more beautiful letter
From my BFF, Chairman Kim – what a sweetie!
The love that we share couldn’t be any better:
I’ll keep saying that ‘til we both sign a treaty.
A shame Kim Jong-nam met his end in that airport,
But if he was spying, his brother had reason
To settle the score on the spot, then and there – mort.
A risk not worth taking, since I think it’s treason.
I’ll side with dictators with whom I’m acquainted
And not call them out when I sense I can profit.
So, while those relationships may turn out tainted,
For now I’m instructing my intel: “Get off it.”
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