Lessen Plans

Some words of advice that I’ll share with you, children:
If you are afraid a school shooter is near,
And you’re concerned you might be one of the killed ones,
My message to you: You’ve got nothing to fear.

The chances of you being shot, kids, are so slim:
They’re less than the odds that your folks will divorce.
Where there’s a bad man with a gun, we’ll control him
(If there is a red-flag law we can enforce).

Now, two and a half years ago – your survival
Was not guaranteed, since the system was poor.
No metal detectors upon your arrival;
No armed resource officers stood by the door.

Back then, the root causes of all of these slaughters
Were subject to spurious Democrat claims.
They failed to protect moms and dads, sons and daughters,
Since they wouldn’t ban certain video games.

Their plan all along: take the Second Amendment
And gut it, just like in biology class.
Thank goodness my campaign was in the ascendant;
Strict gun legislation you’ll never see pass.

If someone is crazy or sick or demented –
No weapons for them; on that, I will insist.
Their purchase of guns perhaps can be prevented
(As long as their illness did not pre-exist).

So don’t be afraid as you step off your scooter;
I’m doing all for you I possibly could.
I’d even be willing to take out the shooter
Myself, if I find I’m in your neighborhood.

No need to be worried about these munitions.
Less people than guns – you can all do the math.
One day you’ll grow up to become politicians.
That is – if you’re not victims of a bloodbath.