I picked up Barron’s atlas, just to read while on the toilet;
A handsome book, with leather used to bind it.
I handled it quite carefully, and made sure not to soil it.
(I looked for “Nambia,” but couldn’t find it.)
There were so many countries; the whole list was quite profuse.
Some nations had success, some had calamity.
But inspiration came to me, just as I dropped a deuce:
A scheme against Joe Biden and his family.
I skipped right past Andorra; didn’t care about Bhutan –
And then I found the perfect listing: China!
A home to many Commies; therefore perfect for my plan.
I was so pleased, I grabbed someone’s vagina.
I’d dummy up some charges and at China point the finger;
Imply that Joe and Hunter made some fast cash,
Accuse of improprieties, and hope the stench would linger,
Suggesting China has the facts: a vast cache.
I bolted from the bathroom and ran right out to the front lawn,
And shouted as the chopper blades were whirring.
Despite the cries from Democrats who all declared this stunt wrong,
The GOP, for most part, is deferring.
These charges are all made up but devised to serve a purpose,
Ignoring how my children truly profit
From trading on their last name – but that fact will not usurp us.
To critics of my biz, I say: “Get off it.”
Don Jr. and the other one keep trying to make hotel deals
Around the world (their failure is resounding).
Ivanka deals with China to make dresses and to sell heels.
The swamp, instead of draining, is surrounding.
I clearly, on live television, broke the oath I swore to;
I doubled down on my unhinged behavior.
Amazing I would stage that scene in real-time, right before you –
Let’s see how much support for me will waiver.
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