Beware of trick-or-treaters, who will come in masquerade:
If you think that they’re just children, then you’ll find yourself betrayed.
So do not be fooled by costumes in this All Hallow’s Eve season –
They are spies, not to be trusted; focused on committing treason.
They come in random groupings; oftentimes there are at least eight,
All dressed like ghosts or pirates — but they’re agents of the Deep State.
They’re welcomed to your front porch, where you’ll hand each one a KitKat®.
But some will try to sneak inside; be careful: don’t permit that.
They’ll rifle through your desk drawers; surely tap your telephone.
You’ve got to keep your eye on all, and don’t leave them alone.
They’ll want a drink of water, and when you go to the kitchen
You should never turn your back — that’s when they slip into position.
You must remain attentive and do not be unconcerned,
Since otherwise, they’ll gather up a decade’s tax returns.
They’ll photograph your call logs and rip pages from your daybook,
Then leak it to the Fake News. (Tip: just deny what they took.)
Don’t say I didn’t warn you: please don’t ever take this chance. We
Must protect against permitting these inquiring flights of fancy.
You can never let your guard down; keep the hand at all times upper.
We can’t punish like the old days, so instead: bed without supper.