In Flagrante Perfecto

My phone call was perfecto.
(That’s how it’s said in Spanish.)
No pressure (I checked). So,
Why won’t this controversy vanish?

These dubious avowals,
From folks I’ve never seen,
Are what comes from your bowels
As you sit in the latrine.

I’ve got the goods on Vindman,
Since he’s a Never Trumper.
As I said that, I grinned and
Tossed decorum in the dumper.

Yovanovich (Ambassador):
Quite numbered were her days,
When – after Sondland hassled her –
She wouldn’t tweet her praise.

The polls I have – the real ones –
Say impeachment is a figment.
I’ve got lipstick; hear that squeal, son?
Go find out just where that pig went.

The whistleblower’s status:
His ID’s an open secret.
For the problems he begat us,
Pretty soon I’m gonna leak it.

Susan Rice, Obama, Brennan –
Their influence here: appreciable.
I’ll blame all of them for endin’
My term, once I’m found impeachable.

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