Tainted By Numbers

I used funds from my foundation to pay off some business debt.
Am I sorry that I did this? Not at all; je ne regrette.
Despite the statement I put out (my tone was rather snooty),
A judge has ruled I’d breached my sworn fiduciary duty.

I had to close my charity; that really was a bummer.
The A.G. in New York’s a hack; I think the statement from her
Paints a picture that’s misleading – why, if someone reads enough, one
Might believe I ran my charity as if it were a slush fund.

That attorney said I’d used the assets as a piggy bank for
My political and personal desires – for parties swank, or
Else to purchase my own portrait, which I ended up displaying in
Doral, my country club. That’s been described as a dismaying sin.

While this foundation bore my name (of course), the thing that’s funny
Is I hardly ever used my own; I pulled in others’ money.
Quite a bit came from the family that built a wrestling dynasty.
And some was spent to purchase booze from – where else? – the Trump winery.

Although I have acknowledged, in a court of law, wrongdoing
You can bet your bottom dollar that I’ll be, before long, suing
And make claims I was defrauded by some ugly, vile and sneering louse,
Who said I’d won the sweepstakes handled by Publishers Clearing House.

They say charity begins at home – I’m sure that is the case. Yet
It’s against the law to use these grants to renovate my basement.
Oh, well – easy come and easy go: another well-known homily.
I assure you the offense I’ve pled to here is an anomaly.