Enter Sond-man

I want nothing, I want nothing, I don’t want a quid pro quo.
Tell Zellinsky, “Do the right thing.” Now, you’ve got to let me go;
I’ve got Rudy in my office and I think he’ll say that he’s
Hatched a plan to trash the stature of the Bidens: père et fils.

Now, this fella – Gordon Sondland – I don’t know him very well.
In the past, he’s made donations to some other personnel.
But he ponied up a million for a party that we threw,
So I made him an Ambassador; he went to the E.U.

We hardly ever spoke – like, only twenty times or so –
But he never heard me say that Latin slogan: quid pro quo.
I was careful with my language all those times that we were chatting,
Never mentioning Joe Biden was the one I was combatting.

Now, for reasons I don’t understand, he’s turned his back on me,
Also: Bolton, Johnson, Pence, Pompeo, Perry, Mul-van-ey.
As the day began, the failing New York Times put forth a scoop:
Nearly Every High Official – Even Trump – Was in the Loop.

He was following my orders – or, at least, that’s his presumption.
And the House Republicans jumped right on that; attacked his gumption.
“If you never heard him say it, then it’s clear he never uttered
Any such thing,” Nunes, Ratcliffe, Turner, Stewart, Hurd all sputtered.

And Stefanik – gotta love her! She’s turned into quite a spitfire.
Just like me, she’s game to punch down each time Dems attempt to hit higher.
But it’s clear that Sondland’s testimony kept my whole team handcuffed –
They all threw a lot of jabs, but only rarely could they land stuff.

Sondland seemed without a care; he clearly came to flex his muscles:
Dropped a bomb, upset the apple cart – and then returned to Brussels.
Now the spin starts: how much sticks compared to how much I can shake off, then
We’ll see if polls that favor my impeachment will take off again.

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