Most Fowl, Strange And Unusual

Have you heard the latest insult foisted on us by the radicals?
They want the name “Thanksgiving” to be given a sabbatical.
I’m surprised you didn’t know this, since I’ve heard it’s been discussed in
The same circles where the Dems tossed “Merry Christmas!” in the dustbin.

I take non-existent molehills and I build them into mountains;
Stand upon my bully pulpit, whereupon I will denounce in
Language course enough that sailors wearing jaunty caps – all wool-knit –
Would begin to blush as crowds echo my raucous cry of “Bullshit!”

If your greeting’s “Happy holidays!” then my response is, “Screw you!”
If you testify against me, I will claim I never knew you.
If you tell me there’s a poll asserting half want my removal,
I’ll make up my own – with claims of ninety-five percent approval.

You can sit in air conditioning and read through your New York Times
While I pardon valiant men. Their only sin? Committing war crimes.
I’m still going after Hillary; my crowd sure hates that female.
(Nikki Haley, we’ve since learned, did much the same thing with her email.)

It’s the time of year where typically we give thanks and are grateful.
But, in my case, I prefer to keep on acting in a hateful
And dismissive manner, heaping on derision and abuse.
You can all enjoy your turkey – meanwhile, I have cooked my goose.