Healthy, Wealthy and Wiseacre

A man with a cough cannot conceal himself. ~ African proverb

• He can, however, quickly clear the room.

When the heart is at ease, the body is healthy. ~ Chinese proverb

• When the body is at ease, the heart attack is inevitable.

Good health and good sense are two of life’s greatest blessings. ~ Pubilius Syrus

• Yep, they’re on the list – right after beer and pepperoni pizza.

Happiness is nothing more than good health and a bad memory. ~ Albert Schweitzer

• Misery is nothing more good health and memory of a bad series of investments.

The sick do not ask if the hand that smoothes their pillow is pure, nor the dying care if the lips that touch their brow have known the kiss of sin. ~ Oscar Wilde

• Pro tip: Smooth the pillow and kiss the brow before asking the sick or dying to sign a codicil to name you their sole beneficiary.

A good laugh and a long sleep are the best cures in the doctor’s book. ~ Irish proverb

• But MRIs and organ transplants are the most profitable.

Eat to live, not live to eat. ~ Socrates

• Either way: no dessert until you clean your plate.

Sometimes the remedy is worse than the disease. ~ Francis Bacon

• I would not take any health advice from someone whose last name is “Bacon.”

If you be sick, your own thoughts make you sick. ~ Ben Jonson

• Your sick thoughts be the reason I’m filing for divorce.

Sickness comes on horseback but departs on foot. ~ Dutch proverb

• Two advantages of living in a sixth-floor walkup.

The art of medicine consists of amusing the patient while nature cures the disease. ~ Voltaire

• But once the bill arrives, we are not amused.

There is one consolation in being sick; and that is the possibility that you may recover to a better state than you were ever in before. ~ Henry David Thoreau

• I guess that depends on how you feel about Florida.