I Am The Very Muddle

I don’t have fullest confidence in this inspector general.
Support for my appointees is both fleeting and ephemeral.
The circumstances leading to his sacking – not amenable.
But I found his behavior to be flippant and untenable.
His action with the whistleblower I have found lamentable,
and therefore Michael Atkinson I now declare expendable.
About my perfect Ukraine call I surely made a lot o’ news,
with alternative facts about the transcript offered to confuse.

[CHORUS]
With alternative facts about the transcript offered to confuse
With alternative facts about the transcript offered to confuse
With alternative facts about the transcript offered to con-rootin’-fuse

I will not wear a mask to ward off sneezing or a hacking cough.
The whistleblower was a fake and someone should sue his ass off.
In short, in matters economic, military, medical –
I am the very model of positions found heretical.

[CHORUS]
In short, in matters economic, military, medical –
He is the very model of positions found heretical

If someone has coronavirus, I think it’s OK they choose
to take the drugs that I promote, and disregard what the Fake News
is saying about chloroquine and how it isn’t proven yet.
So, take it or don’t take it – either way, I won’t get too upset.
Our program to protect small business payroll rolled out perfectly.
I had a captain fired who bitched; removed him from the bright blue sea.
The insights of key experts it is clear that I am keen without.
Each passing day it’s clearer of control I am careening out.

[CHORUS]
Each passing day it’s clearer of control he is careening out
Each passing day it’s clearer of control he is careening out
Each passing day it’s clearer of control he is careen-areen-ing out

When I can have a bill passed, which is worth more than two-trillion bucks.
When I close all our borders to cut back on foreigners’ influx.
When anyone who’s not a family member I’m more wary at.
And as the bodies stack up, we’re not sure where they’ll be buried at.
When my Attorney General suspends the corpus habeas.
When I say China had the most afflicted, though it may be us.
In short (just like my fingers), it appears I have no strategy.
Some say my disapproval rating’s not yet reached its apogee.

[CHORUS]
Some say his disapproval rating’s not yet reached its apogee
Some say his disapproval rating’s not yet reached its apogee
Some say his disapproval rating’s not yet reached its apo-crapo-gee

Will we survive to see another decade in this century?
I think you will admit my term has been quite an adventure, we
will see if voters back me up, or if they’ve become hesitant –
increasing odds Joe Biden will take over as your President.

[CHORUS]
We’ll see if voters back him up, or if they’ve become hesitant –
since we need someone competent to serve as our next President.