I’m Not Inclined

The ramp was damp,
No rail to clamp.
If I had slipped,
Some would have quipped
I seemed unsteady:
Enough, already.

West Point’s the joint
Where I annoint
All those cadets;
Pander to vets.
Let others serve:
Me? Lacked the nerve.

I took a sip
With two-hand grip
Upon my drink.
(He’s weak, y’think?)
If I had spilled,
Fake News is thrilled.

Some thought they heard
My speech was slurred
I voiced, “MuhGarther;”
A slight departure
From how it’s said.
Who cares? He’s dead.

I brag I’m strong –
A chance I’m wrong.
Just turned 74:
Exercise I abhor.
I consume only meat,
Shaky on my two feet.
Waistline sure hasn’t shrunk
Since I like to eat junk.
My cognition’s impaired…
Jeezus – you should be scared.