Lamely Proclaim

I signed some Executive Orders – big yawn;
I think at least half are already withdrawn.
They served no clear purpose, except to cement
what I said they’d deliver was not what I meant.

I cut unemployment a bit, to $400,
but only if states help to get it all funded.
We’ve got to get unemployed folks off of charity,
so that’s my plan – despite its unpopularity.

I promised that I’d put a halt on evictions:
That’s just one more fib in a long line of fictions.
I said I’d waive interest on student loan payments,
and mortgage your future to help pay today’s rent.

What grabbed all the headlines? Defer payroll taxes,
which I made it sound as if lots more cold cash is
en route to your wallet. (The small print – I said it there –
this raids your retirement as well as your Medicare.)

The authority that I’m exerting is wobbly,
so will I be sued over this? I’d say, “Prob’ly.”
These actions are slapdash, with frivolous deadlines –
but issuing them keeps my name in the headlines.