If I permit more votes to come in by mail,
it’s clear that my campaign is going to fail.
I’ve got to be crafty, much more than most foxes,
to keep all those ballots away from postboxes.

Step One: make up fraud as an unfounded claim.
Step Two: upon Democrats lay all the blame.
Step Three: put a lackey in charge of delivery.
Step Four: keep on lying, since that’s my proclivity.

I don’t care for mail-in – but love absentee.
The difference between is known only to me.
An absentee ballot is one that I’ve used,
but mail-in is bad because… wait, I’m confused.

I’ve threatened to hold back emergency funding,
despite those who say doing so is a dumb thing.
But here’s the real reason I’ve gone on this rant:
A stamp, I can lick – it’s Joe Biden I can’t.

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