The Impossible Scheme

I’m pulling my brain trust together; they all seem to come from the fringes.
And while they can best be described as “unhinged,” it’s upon them that my future hinges.
They come from the House Freedom Caucus, and also there’s Rudy and Sidney.
I would have said Bill Barr belongs on the team, but his recent words nearly undid me.

This gang of political misfits are helping me hold on to power.
We think there’s a pathway that leads to my triumph, despite logic and the late hour.
I keep losing fights in the courtroom, so let’s challenge certification.
So what if we toss out the will of the people without any justification?

This ragtag cabal of House members, best characterized here as “manic,”
support me in ways that defy common sense and appear to approach messianic.
“They’re all going down like a shot dog” – that’s what one top Senator uttered –
but they won’t let facts or complete lack of conscience deter them; their minds are uncluttered.

In two weeks there’ll be a joint session; my buddies may make an objection:
A final, mendacious and frantic attempt at a doomed-to-fail late course correction.
They’ll try to usurp the election (results which should be undisputed),
while odds of success at this quixotic quest are so small that they can’t be computed.

So why do I keep at this effort, that seems headed straight for implosion?
And why does this grouping of right-wing Republicans demonstrate toward me devotion?
Perhaps it’s because of our doctrine, or maybe it’s linked to our vanity,
but truly – the reason we’ve all come together is due to our common insanity.