I won – by a lot! (That means I didn’t lose.)
To claim Biden’s the victor is just more Fake News.
And despite all the falsehoods supporting my claim,
It’s upon Mitch McConnell I now lay the blame.
Thank goodness for people like valiant Josh Hawley.
Unlike many others, he answered the call – he
announced he’ll object to the stated results.
(We’re behaving like children, instead of adults.)
In my heart of hearts, I’m quite aware that I lost
but I’ll keep persevering, regardless the cost.
I don’t want to be branded a loser, and hence
I’ve put pressure as well on my V.P., Mike Pence.
Although Mike’s role in this is perhaps ceremonial,
I’ve tried to convince him, through acting alone, he will
upend the outcome and then can subvert it.
That won’t kill Democracy – merely pervert it.
They say as Rome burned, Nero played violin.
If you substitute golf for the fiddle, my sin
is the same as ol’ Nero’s – I’ve turned a blind eye
toward the values our nation’s long been defined by.
Will this end run succeed? Well, let’s just wait and see…
but it seems quite unlikely to reinstate me
as the winner of this leadership referendum.
In that case: I’ll show you hysterics – and then some.