Em-bear-assed

A snowmobiler in the backcountry had the scare of a lifetime.

Alaskans – be careful when you have to poop:
A woman was recently thrown for a loop
when she went to an outhouse and sat on the toilet,
and next thing you know – something happened to spoil it.

A black bear was hiding within the latrine,
way down in the pit, where it couldn’t be seen.
And just as the woman got on with her business
she felt something strange and she wondered, “What is this?”

The last thing you think that will happen to you
when you feel the compulsion to go number two
is to have a wild animal hiding beneath
who will leave an imprint on your tush with its teeth.

The woman ran screaming; she truly was shaken.
The bear nonchalantly said, “This latrine’s taken.”
Affixed to that privy, there’s now a secure sign:
“This Outhouse Reserved – Use Exclusively Ursine.”