The Plop Thickens

You might have to forgo a popular table item in its single-use packaging.

There’s a shortage of ketchup that comes in a foil pack
and, strangely, it’s all due to Covid turmoil. Lack
of interest in passing a condiment cruet
makes a packet preferred (there’s no need to unscrew it).

The number one thing that most pour on a french fry
is ketchup. But if that runs out, people then try
some barbecue sauce, mayonnaise, or malt vinegar –
or some other topping that’s equally sinister.

Some like to pour ketchup on most any dish;
what I bet they don’t know: it was first made from fish!
They have made it from oysters and walnuts and mushrooms…
If served these concoctions, I’d feel faint from such fumes.

High-brow sophisticates scoff at tomato-
based sauces for french fries and hamburgers. They go
for pesto, aioli – and yet they’d get flustered
if stores ever run out of Grey Poupon mustard.