This weapon of choice has a lingering, if not deadly, impact.
Two women who, it would appear, were upset
chose to launch an attack one would not soon forget:
they were mad at a fellow – perhaps even bitter –
and launched an assault using buckets of glitter.
Now glitter, you know, tends to stick to the skin;
into each orifice it will work its way in.
You may find this amusing, but truly it’s hostile –
most notably once infiltrating a nostril.
The reason for staging this sparkly shower
(at three in the morning, an ungodly hour)
is unknown. The man asked, “Why have I been hit with this
mess? Now that glitter’s been flung, it’s ubiquitous.”
A felony burglary charge plus assault
with this comical weapon suggests some gestalt
was at play here. No word yet regarding what spurred this,
but as misdeeds go – it’s among the absurdest.