Facts Optional

Power to the People

I have post-treematic stress after our recent storm.

And a little child will lead them

Perhaps the wrong progeny has been named as a "special advisor."

To have and to hold on a second

Believe it or not, my wife continues to tolerate me.

Drain the swamp

Or, "How I took a meteor shower."

Apostrophe for services rendered

Next -- a few words from the diacriticals.

My reign in MacArthur Grant Park

It doesn't take a genius to figure out why I've once again been overlooked for this honor.

Freedom from speech

You can stand up for what you believe in, my friends -- just as long as you don’t take a knee.

With dramaturgical precision

Who knew my life was the stuff of legend?

Am I taxing your patience?

I'm sure there won't be any risk of identity theft once we start filing our taxes on postcards.

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