- They like to share their food — about 30 minutes after the digestive process has gotten underway.
- They shed hair that finds its way into folded clothes underneath other folded clothes inside a chest of drawers behind closet doors. In other people’s houses.
- They like to keep you company, even when you are sleeping. Sometimes they offer you a “snack” in the middle of the night.
- They lick and kiss and caress you right up until the moment they sink their needle-sharp claws deep into your soft, supple skin.
- When company comes to call, they make a bee-line for the lap of the person who is most allergic to them.
- They have boundary issues — primarily with the sides of the litter pan, at which they aim their pee just slightly above.
- When you get up from your favorite chair or spot on the couch, even for just a moment, you’ll find them fast asleep in that very spot upon your return. When you try to reclaim it, they’ll sink their needle-sharp claws deep into your soft, supple skin.
- When they’re not eating, they’re thinking about eating and letting you know how hungry they are.
- Whoever said “let sleeping dogs lie” obviously never owned a cat. Claws, skin, etc.
- The difference between “kittens” and “cats” is like the difference between Lindsay Lohan in The Parent Trap and Lindsay Lohan in Liz & Dick.
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