I paid a lot of money to see this movie, so why do they show me commercials before it starts?

Why do people stop dead in their tracks the moment they exit the jetway? Do they think the other passengers behind them have no place else to go?

Why do people make racist statements and then claim they’re not racist? That’s like if I jump into a pool and then say I wasn’t expecting to get wet.

Why do people step into pedestrian walkways that are clearly displaying “DO NOT WALK” symbols, in front of oncoming traffic? And yet when they’re behind the wheel they immediately honk if the car in front of them doesn’t move the instant the light turns green?

Why do gas station pumps post signs prohibiting cellphone use so you’re not distracted while using them, but have TV displays built in? Is this so you can see the breaking news report “Car Explodes!” while your vehicle is engulfed in flames?

Why do we plead “ignorance of the law” only when we’re guilty of something? Does anyone ever win a lawsuit and then claim “I had no idea what was going on in the courtroom”?

Why do people at concerts engage in loud conversations while the band is playing? How would they like it if someone launched into a drum solo in the middle of their PowerPoint presentation at work?

Why do grocery stores sell motor oil? I wouldn’t buy ground beef at AutoZone.

What kind of world do we live in that I even know who Kim Kardashian IS?

If your boss expects you to work at home in the evenings, why does she get upset if you nap at the office during the day?

Why do kids reply immediately to texts from their friends but when asked in-person to clean their rooms respond with “… later”?

If we’re descended from the apes then why can’t I scamper up trees?

Why would anyone make an obscene gesture at another driver when they have no idea if there’s a gun in that car?

Why do people ask if you have time to talk when you answer their calls? And why do you answer their calls if you don’t?