Interview With Bedevil

I sat down for an interview that showed up on last Sunday’s broadcast,
Claiming that no other POTUS ever had so many laws passed.
Said that I believed in climate change – but it could change again.
Backed away from saying “love” – but Kim Jong-un and I? Still friends.

As far as what has happened with that journalist who disappeared,
I mentioned some defense contractors, saying loss of jobs I feared.
The European Union? Not an ally – they all take advantage.
Family separation? You won’t hear me say it was mismanaged.

By calling him a Democrat, I damned with faint praise “Mad Dog” Mattis.
When it comes to NATO… I’m not sure he even knows what that is.
Do I have regrets? Of course – the media treats me so badly.
(Why did they send Lesley Stahl? I’d rather sit down with Ed Bradley.)

One regret I have is NAFTA; some delay in termination.
(Thankful no one asked about the tape that features urination.)
The “famous Mississippi speech” kept Kavanaugh from being defeated.
Did I trash Ms. Blasey Ford? You’ll never hear that point conceded.

Notice now whenever I say “Russia” – China gets a mention?
It’s this whole collusion thing, from which I still divert attention.
Do you really think I called Vlad Putin, asking him to step in?
Also, I assume NK has yet to dump one single weapon.

Several times, I made it clear: no one should think that I’m a baby.
After all – I gave Jong-un my number, saying “Call me maybe.”
People leaving my administration? I have some on standby.
There’s a secret signal: two if sea, but only one if land by.

I feel very comfortable, and on the job I feel I’ve learned:
That no one’s to be trusted; those who trusted me find they’ve been spurned.
Philosophy of hope and healing? Not one that I follow much.
For right now – I’m the President. And as for you? Well, not so much.