I know that when my hair needs styling, I don’t use a barber.
I know that something happened (not sure what) in Pearl Harbor.
I know that Mayor Pete looks like he’s saying, “What, me worry?”
But I didn’t know the Kansas City Chiefs play in Missouri.
I know that call I made regarding Ukraine aid: perfecto.
I know my power as the President must go unchecked, so
I claim the Constitution gives authority unfettered.
Though that’s not true – Republicans to my hip now are tethered.
I know you flush ten times to get a doody down the toilet.
I know the ending to that “Fight Club” movie, but won’t spoil it.
I know that my inauguration crowd: the biggest all-time.
I know I’ll be acquitted of some large, and several small, crimes.
I know when you’re a star that you can grab chicks by the lady parts.
I know in England when somebody “trumps” – you are afraid he farts.
I know that a concussion is not much more than a headache.
I know there’s truth in media reports each time I’ve said, “FAKE.”
I know more about ISIS than the generals all claim to.
I know I’ll never own up to mistakes; instead, I’ll blame you.
I know I’d rather lie than tell a truth that doesn’t suit me.
I know I’ve let Vlad Putin and Kim Jong-un both delude me.
I know I’ve sidestepped actions that the Dems all thought impeachable.
I know I won’t be censured, since I’m now all but unreachable.
I know if I’m allowed to get away with all my misdeeds,
Then clearly we are on the road to hell – that’s where all this leads.
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