I never heard of “mug shots” all the time I was at Wharton.
I’m innocent of every charge the fake news is reportin’.
Who are these “co-conspirators” whose pictures now surround me?
And yet, amidst this chaos, rest assured that I sleep soundly.
This thing that I am going through is so unfair and horrible.
My actions (which were perfect), leftist Dems peg as incorrigible.
There is no case against me; all these actions are obscene.
I’m six-foot-three and weigh in at a lanky two-fifteen.
I showed up at the jail in suit of blue and tie of red,
with hair of blond (or strawberry) well-coiffed upon my head.
A clerk then took my fingerprints; I stood still for my photo.
(In all these cases, over ninety charges filed in toto.)
Last week I said I’d issue a report containing new facts,
to prove my innocence. (It never happened.) Then, on Newsmax,
I claimed that even Democrats are saying, “Please, don’t do it…
They’re making a mistake.” But as to what – you must intuit.
I flew back to New Jersey, taking off from Hartsfield-Jackson.
My mug shot’s now on merchandise, to bolster benefaction
from the MAGA-types and others who believe that I lack guile.
My tip, upon surrendering: just scowl, and never smile.
