There’s one clear message flowing from my campaign; this is it:
everyone who’s worked for me before’s a piece of shit.
Nearly all against I have committed verbal arson
(pretty much the only one left standing is Ben Carson).
Seems as far as character, I’m not much of a judge –
said that I would drain the swamp; instead, I stirred up sludge.
When lackeys didn’t suit my needs, they got the boot summarily.
I now hurl insults rat-a-tat and eyeball each one warily.
Once I’m re-elected, I will sidestep all the hassle –
skipping the “best people,” each new hire will be a vassal.
I’ll just bring in toadies, irregardless of their skill set,
even if behind the ears these lickspittles are still wet.
Kristi Noem, Stefanik, and my new Black friend, Tim Scott –
they don’t offer anything, but I like what they’ve got:
sycophantic loyalty; they sense the opportunity
(most of all, they back my claims of absolute immunity).
Bolton, Pence, McMaster, Barr – and now there’s Nikki Haley;
members of my Cabinet before now bash me daily.
Yet, despite their vitriol, I push on and prevail.
Nothing’s gonna stop me now – perhaps not even jail.
