I threatened to veto that omnibus bill, but then I gave in and I signed it.
On one hand, I said it was good for our troops; on the other, I quickly maligned it.
One-point-three trillion, two-thousand-plus pages,
Guaranteed to set off one of my Twitter rages.
A few days before it was due to be signed, I signaled potential abstention.
Paul Ryan showed up; he conferenced in Mitch; those two staged a quick intervention.
They said, “Mr. President – the problem with this is
A veto would mean, once again, closed for business.”
After the tweet where I said I was thinking of tossing the bill in the trashcan,
I summoned the press and I said I had signed, but still called it a real slap-dash plan.
Hundreds of billions earmarked for our troops – great.
Only a pittance for border wall; oops – hate.
I said this bill did squat for DACA, again – Congress failed one more time to resolve it.
I placed the blame squarely at Democrats’ feet, even though I’m the one who dissolved it.
In response to school shootings, it offered Fix NICS.
The best we could do now, due to politics.
The pending display of meal calorie counts was delayed by this bill; took a lickin’.
This means I’ll continue to blithely consume my Big Macs, chocolate shakes and fried chicken.
What you don’t know can’t hurt you, some wise man once said.
So my tax returns? Not until after I’m dead.
I stood at a podium, next to a big pile of paper, and said, “Not again!”
I’d never sign anything given to me that I couldn’t read, or comprehend.
A line-item veto would really be beautiful;
Who cares that it’s something that’s unconstitutional?
At the end of the day, this was just one more time where I threw a fit and stirred the pot.
No matter how much I’ve been given, I’m bound to complain about what I have not.
But this deal is done, one that all will remember.
And guess what? We’ll do it again in September.
