We’re at it once again (the overblown House Freedom Caucus).
We introduced a resolution; outcome will be raucous.
We want to dump Rod Rosenstein, as documents still linger.
We’re tired of the DOJ all giving us the finger.
There’s nothing here that’s partisan – we only seek transparency.
And yet our party’s leadership accuses us of heresy.
We’re not pleased with the information Rosenstein redacted,
And do not care if Gowdy thinks our group over-reacted.
We’re led by Jordan (Jim) and Carolina’s (North) Mark Meadows;
Our membership is currently about three dozen fellows.
Dead-set against big government, we focus on reduction.
And, generally speaking, our approach is through obstruction.
We like to come out strong against what we think is indecent,
And casually throw around the concept of impeachment.
We’re to the right of far-right. That’s where we’ve staked our position.
And shutting down the government appears to be our mission.
We claim, in closed-door meetings, Rosenstein made vile threats.
Some statements to our staffers that we’ll make sure he regrets.
Rod says it didn’t happen, but we sure do not believe him.
If we can get two-hundred ninety votes, we can relieve him.
But what’s the real reason that our caucus has objected?
We want to see all messages two Bureau agents texted.
We’re certain Strzok and Lisa Page, and maybe other agents,
Are trying to bring Trump down through subterfuge, lies, and surveillance.
It matters not to us that others in the House object.
One thing about our caucus – we are never circumspect.
We’ll work to undermine the Russia probe, you can be certain.
Keep Mueller from revealing what he finds behind the curtain.
We hate the Special Counsel just as much as we hate Hillary.
We hate the IRS and wonder how much longer will it be
Allowed to target groups we call “conservative non-profit.”
And even though that isn’t true, you’ll never get us off it.
But mostly we just want to flex our muscles in a way
That, even though we’re small in stature, means we’ll have our say.
Our motivation now has no connection to reports
Jim Jordan’s wrestlers were abused when told to drop their shorts.
Now Jordan says he wants to be the Speaker of the House.
McCarthy and Scalise think otherwise, there are no doubts.
In light of recent headlines, it seems strange that he would choose
To throw his hat into the ring when likely he would lose.
But Jordan may be thinking back on how he loves to wrestle
And have the confidence to think that he could be successful.
Perhaps he hasn’t thought about the bind he’s put himself in,
Or how he might be pinned by an opponent’s swift half-nelson.