Bang On The Tantrum All Day

All this buzz around the “i- word” – it’s beyond imagination.
I don’t even like to say the term aloud to give it credence.
My last meeting with Pelosi was of very brief duration;
I said, “Your investigations are creating an impedance.”

I can’t tolerate investigations when I know they’re phony,
So I walked out of our meeting after I expressed my animus.
I wouldn’t shake their hands or even stand on ceremony
Since my mood was such it wouldn’t matter if I’d smoked some cannabis.

Pelosi said a cover-up what was I was engaged in
So I said, “I don’t do cover-ups” (well, other than some spray tan).
It was clear from my behavior I could barely keep my rage in.
I can play this game of posturing much better, folks, than they can.

I’ve lost count how many times we’ve launched an “Infrastructure Week.”
I keep saying that it’s easy, with bi-partisan support. It
Got derailed this time around when Nancy’s comments made me freak –
Or, at least, that’s my excuse (the GOP says: can’t afford it).

I am infamous for walking if I do not get my wishes,
And I really get my jollies when the Dems all say, “He’s killing us.”
So – first confirm my trade deal, then we’ll turn to roads and bridges.
Has this escalated further? I hear Nancy called me “villainous.”

I can hold my breath much longer than can any other human;
I can bang my fists and rant and rave and whine about my feelings.
It’s my special style of leadership – to stomp out of the room and
Keep the focus anywhere except on my financial dealings.

As the legislative process keeps on grinding to a halt –
As I keep on making fun of all the Democrat aspirants –
As I keep on claiming nothing that goes wrong can be my fault –
I’ve distracted you from anguish over death of those young migrants.

As I play around with offering war criminals a pardon –
As I cozy up to strongmen, claiming I am even stronger –
As I stage a made-for-television rant in the Rose Garden –
I claim I’m your favorite President. The question: how much longer?

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