Volod Man Out

When I was a schoolboy, they taught us all Latin
(This was upstate; it was not in Manhattan).
That’s when I learned all the Latin I know:
Alibi, mens rea, and quid pro quo.

Out in Ukraine (a post-Soviet state),
I chose to mention a veiled threat, with weight:
I asked their help in exposing a rival.
In exchange, I would send aid for survival.

Just a suggestion here; not a demand;
What I was asking for, they’d understand.
Me and Zelenskyy — the two of us shared a
Presumed code of conduct (some call it omertà).

A few other people were part of this scheme:
I had Giuliani and Barr lead the team.
I also enlisted two more power brokers:
Ambassador Sondland, Ambassador Volker.

While chatting with Volodymyr (former comedian),
I told him just how, and for what, I’d be needin’ him.
And in our discussion, I shared this idea:
I said I would help him to take back Crimea.

Zelenskyy described our brief gabfest as “normal.”
We recently met (the occasion informal);
He backed me up utterly, wholly, completely.
I’m gambling Joe — and my words — can’t defeat me.

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