Failing The Tests

We’ve now got tests coming right out the wazoo:
If you want a test, then we’ve got one for you.
We’re ready to test two-percent of adults –
As long as you’re willing to wait for results.

When Mike Pence said four million tests would be ready,
A lot of folks misunderstood him. Instead, he
Perhaps should have said that they couldn’t be processed
Regardless of how many sick people got tests.

It’s kind of like saying that people are hungry,
Despite the reality we are among the
Most prosperous nations, with copious foodstuffs:
Why people can’t all be well-fed still eludes us.

I’ve made it quite clear, since I’ve issued a blueprint:
The details are laid out quite clearly – if you squint.
While up to the states, we don’t plan to forsake you,
Despite Dr. Birx saying we need a breakthrough.

I love taking tests, since my score’s always highest;
There’s no one who’s smarter than me (I’m not biased).
But when we are testing for COVID-19, we
Appear to failing the nation, routinely.

I’ve just told the states that I’m seriously hopin’
Before summer gets here, the schools should reopen.
The word on the street – NEA wants to tackle me,
Since who will get sick? Not the kids, but the faculty.

It seems my approach to pandemic is random;
I keep contradicting my own memorandum.
What risk do I run if not up to the task? It
Seems obvious: can’t vote for me from a casket.

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