Somnambulance Chasers

(Rudy Giuliani & Co.)
We have lined up statisticians,
supervisors, and morticians,
who will all give testimony
that the vote results are phony.

Evidence, though circumstantial,
should bring recounts to a standstill.
Our fraud findings here entail a
glut of cash from Venezuela.

Hugo Chavez, now deceased,
before he died had some palms greased.
Software built at his direction
used to clinch Biden’s election.

Now, to keep you all on your toes,
let us mention here George Soros:
We will soon submit a brief; a
form that proves he funds Antifa.

I know crimes – in fact, I smell them.
I claim facts but will not tell them.
I can prove, with no remorse owed,
kids with cellphones hacked the source code.

We have evidence of votes trashed.
Food trucks pulled up; inside – votes stashed.
(Was my gravitas impaired by
seeing my face streaked with hair dye?)

With this group you can’t complete –
We’re a strikeforce team, elite.
And if you found today bizarro…
wait ‘til we come back tomorrow.