Nowhere in his statement does Trump suggest he bought the round of drinks golfing convention calls for.
Many folks are asking, so I thought I would announce:
I made a hole-in-one! Rolled in behind the second bounce.
My shot was quite magnificent, which I proclaimed with hubris:
the witnesses were other men; all four of them were boob-less.
I struck it with a 5-iron that I pulled out of my bag.
My swing was better than the pros I played with (humblebrag).
This happened at a course I own, the one in West Palm Beach.
(You all remember who I am – the POTUS twice-impeached).
I mentioned in my statement that I don’t like folks who brag, but
all my partners were impressed I had no need to make a lag putt.
Ernie Els has won 4 majors and he saw the ball go clank.
(My call log displays some gaps, just like Dick Nixon’s tapes were blank.)
My golf game, I say humbly, is superior to most.
I just was called a “partner” by a Russian TV host.
In golf – and, frankly, everything – I’m known as a fast learner.
(Just one thing I’m not hip to: it’s those prepaid phones called “burner.”)
According to some polls, my popularity is slidin’,
so that’s why I asked Putin to share dirt on Hunter Biden.
While everyone’s obsessed with all the fighting in Ukraine,
I share news of my golf game (and employ legerdemain).
In golf, as in elections, final counts I’m known to fudge.
Such actions likely are corrupt, or so just said a judge.
Once struck, where golf balls end up is referred to as their “lie” –
and that’s a term with which no one is more well-versed than I.