Am I taxing your patience?

I’ve released an outline of my tax plan, you’ll have to wait for the rest of it.

But already the media (who hate me) say it will add $2 bil to the deficit.

They say the rich will benefit, but it sure won’t benefit me.

Uh oh — the dishonest media say they’ve caught me in an l-i-e.


They’re talking about the estate tax, a tax on the one-percent’s riches.

Like Ross, DeVos, me — and those take-a-knee football sons of bitches.

It doesn’t seem fair to pay tax when you earn it, and pay it again once you’re dead.

Of course, I avoided my taxes for years — because I was using my head!


We’ll lower the corporate rate, right down to twenty, so companies will reinvest.

Of everything we are planning to do, I think that this might be the best.

The billions they’ll save won’t end up in their pockets; that money goes back in the pot.

They’ll use it for good, like creating new jobs and expansion. Or, then again — maybe not.


But truly the middle-class is where it’s at. Those people deserve a big break.

When I see how much they are paying in taxes, it makes my bigly heart ache.

We’ll double the standard deduction they pay, to get it to the proper size.

And then they’ll receive a big fat refund check — as long as they don’t itemize.


And daughter Ivanka has had an influence; we’ll increase the Child Tax Credit.

Those poor people with all the babies they have will surely be happy to get it.

Of course, we’ll get rid of the personal exemption, so heads of the household will lose.

Less money, as the great Ronald Reagan once said, to be spent on their oranges and booze.


If there’s one thing I learned from “Repeal and Replace,” it’s that we can not do this without

The support of the Dems. Since, it’s now clear to me, Mitch McConnell no longer has clout.

Once we take care of taxes, we’ll handle the rest of my promises with great aplomb.

And then all we’ll have left to do is look out for the Rocket Man’s nuclear bomb.

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