Hype Raise

If President Obama made the deals that I have made,
The media would hail them as incredible:
The Border and Economy, both getting an upgrade.
And yet – my contributions deemed forgettable.

The Media won’t give me credit; that’s ‘cause they’re Corrupt.
All failing papers and fake cable news shows.
They scream about a crisis when I say the ante’s upped,
Or any time I tweet in my confused prose.

Acknowledgment is sparse, since I rode in on Barry’s coattails:
The pundits say I’ve built on his performance.
He set a course toward treasure; I took over once the boat sailed,
They don’t think I’ve accomplished that much more since.

I’ve done twice what Obama did, in half the time it took him;
For all I’ve done, there oughta be a Holiday.
If anyone objects to this, right in the eye I’d look him –
Then kick him in the nuts and watch him crawl away.

For all I’ve done for you, I sure deserve a celebration.
I guess to do so takes an act of Congress.
The focus put on me, so everyone across the nation
Can demonstrate for me eternal fondness.

What would that party look like? Well, for starters there’d be models
(I’d make sure that Melania’s in Florida).
The whole thing would be catered – fries and burgers from McDonald’s;
A sterling silver cup I’d be awarded a.

My cross to bear that I will never get sufficient praise for
Most anything I do; my plight will worsen.
Those fancy invitations; RSVPs waiting days for –
I’ll bet just Pence and “Mother” come in person.