We’ve got to open churches; it’s not right that they’ve stayed closed.
Time to round up all the faithful, hoping they’ve not been exposed.
Folks are sick and tired of “Zoom Church” – let’s put butts back in the pews.
Right now prayer must be essential; it is needed more than booze.
I don’t drink, so I don’t understand why people need their liquor.
Wine’s a mocker, drink’s a brawler – prayer will make you feel good quicker.
While I don’t pray very often, I will do so when directed.
(And without the evangelicals, I won’t be re-elected.)
I will override the governors if they don’t acquiesce.
(While I don’t have that authority, I claimed so to the press.)
They must open church this weekend, since I see no need for waitin’:
You can safely social distance if you stay six feet from Satan.
People never see me praying, but I do it on the down-low.
I believe I am your king, but they won’t let me wear a crown, though.
I put on a mask in Michigan, but didn’t want a picture.
I proclaim I am the Chosen One, illiterate in Scripture.
Once the churches have reopened, will the virus count go higher?
If it does, it doesn’t matter – we will just put out the fire.
Could parishioners be putting their own lives at risk here? They might.
But if anyone gets sick, I guess that means they didn’t pray right.
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