A Boston-area real estate listing may already be occupied.
A house that’s up for sale has many features that are wanted –
and the listing makes it clear this lovely property’s “Not Haunted.”
The grounds are neatly landscaped, the interior is cozy,
and you’ll get a good night’s sleep once you move in, since it is ghost-free.
The furnace and appliances are all in good condition,
and you’ll never find yourself confronted by an apparition.
If you head into the bathroom – that’s the place you take a pee in –
in the middle of the night, you won’t be frightened by a demon.
You’ll like the kitchen cabinets, with shelves all set at shoulder height;
no fear of dropping dishes when confronted by a poltergeist.
The curtains are included, sewn from opulent material;
they’re tall enough to hide behind if you spy spooks ethereal.
There’s no truth to the rumors this abode comes with a specter;
you can call out “Bloody Mary” with no chance you’ll resurrect her.
As lovely as this home is, are there faults? Of course, it has some:
it could use a coat of paint – and also comes with a phantasm.