War Is Swell

If Democrats are successful (which they will never be)
In yanking me from office, well, then – you just wait and see.
It’s sure to cause a fracture, one from which we’ll never heal.
It just might lead to Civil War – at least, that’s how I feel.

A pastor, Robert Jeffress, described as evangelical,
Predicted this disaster in a voice described as hella shrill.
He says millions are angry their votes would be negated
If the Democrats impeach me, and I can’t be reinstated.

And after his appearance, upon some Fox News program,
I quoted him while tweeting – and it got some people so damn
Fazed and flustered that your POTUS, who used to be your favorite,
Lent credence to this threat and for a moment seemed to savor it.

With every revelation, the ground I choose to stand on
Gives way beneath my feet. That’s not the outcome I had planned on.
You know that I’m in trouble when my salvation hinges
On claims of an apocalypse from people on the fringes.

I’ll keep on undermining this so-called whistleblower,
And torch his reputation with my federal flamethrower.
Or maybe it’s a woman – it really doesn’t matter.
I’ll dig in once I have my chance to cast aspersions at her.

If there’s a Civil War over impeachment – well, so be it.
You know I won’t go down without a fight: I guarantee it.
Will all these allegations prove to be just drivel? Doubt it.
Therefore, no chance in hell I’ll choose to be civil about it.